woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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