Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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