I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
