i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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