and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
