I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize