6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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