I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
