Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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