my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
