ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
