And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize
