Don't you send me to vm
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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