What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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