Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
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