Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i love accidental penises.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
