how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
