What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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