nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My dick has a subreddit
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
