Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
