he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize