I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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