are you so shy because you have an std?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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