walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
