I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
How does one acquire holy water?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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