Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
