We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
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Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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