Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
