$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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