at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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