Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
