Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
