i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
