Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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