I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
