So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
ok first of all what the fuck
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
