Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
