She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize