im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
try to milk me bitch
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
