Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
