If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
