At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
