i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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