just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
