my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
