im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
