It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
wow bdsm is so cute
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
