In the future we'll all be gay
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
