they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
