I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
