I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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