That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
