The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
