she looked like the bat from fern gully.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
