how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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