did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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