I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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