I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
