You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
