On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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