I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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