What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
