I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
