Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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