McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
