I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
