I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
How's work?
Spinning.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
