Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Randomize
