DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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